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"Are we doing it right?" "Are we 'in' or 'out' of dialogue right now?" "Where are we going?" These questions reflect the frustration, confusion and, occasionally, anger I have heard people express about what is happening or, more so, what isn't happening during a dialogue session.
In an attempt to address this issue, I turned to a model based on physical movement that helped me understand what may be occurring the process of dialogue.
Gabrielle Roth in her book Maps to Ecstasy - Teachings of an Urban Shaman writes about how dance was her "way back into life ... reenter(ing) my body learning to move, from the inside out, not the outside in". For me, the process of dialogue has often been visceral -- my body reacting either with tension before words I want to share take shape, or release as I am emotionally touched by what someone else has said.
I have heard others suggest that dialogue can be an "out of body experience", a spiritual endeavor free from the physical. I, too, can relate to this experience as many times what I say seems "channeled" from some place outside of my being. However, it is the metaphor of dialogue as a proprioceptive experience, listening and speaking from the inside out, and the "movement" or perceived "lack of movement" that occurs within a dialogue group that intrigues me.
Gabrielle Roth relates her experience of the "Five Sacred Rhythms" that are the essence of the fully alive body. Do these rhythms also reflect what a group in dialogue goes through?
Are the feelings of frustration and confusion we experience symptoms of our being, individually or collectively, in an unfamiliar, uncomfortable or "stuck" physical sensation, or in a transition from one rhythm into another?
The rhythms Gabrielle Roth acknowledges are: flowing, staccato, chaos, lyrical and stillness.
"You feel your breath rising and sinking, expanding and contracting... (y)ou ride this wave ... until you're stretching like a waking cat ... there are no sharp edges to your movements, only curves, endless circles of motion, each gesture evolving into the next .. flowing in all directions. (Then) you're caught in a sudden storm, waves pounding ... (y)ou begin to move in sharp staccato, defined ways, each movement having a beginning and end. (T)he beat builds, the pace quickens ... (y)ou're going over the edge into chaos. You lose control ... swept up in some primal rite, falling deeper and deeper into yourself, a waking trance.
But just when you think, you're going to burst, or collapse, you land like a feather on the light side of yourself in lyrical rhythm .. and you body sweeps into graceful loops. . . you swirl ...more and more slowly till stillness comes."
She goes on to relate how these movements are those of the process of lovemaking and the birth of a child, and how the new physics postulates that the way to understand reality is in terms of motion.
In my experience of dancing to music that transitions through each of the rhythms, I notice at different times my body often moves to one rhythm or another more "naturally" and other rhythms require more effort to "get into".
What does this have to do with dialogue? I suggest that an underlying process of a dialogue may move a group through these basic rhythms in some form or another.
Let's begin at the final rhythm, stillness, which also recycles the complete process. A dialogue begins by breaking the stillness or silence. A flow develops as participants slowly become engaged to express a response or a new direction on whatever was initially said.
At some point a definite sounding staccato utterance is made that cuts through the flow by perhaps being in direct opposition to a previous statement or challenging an assumption. Then a dissonance of incoherence or chaos may ensue with everyone seemingly talking to themselves with no relation to anyone else. What evolves next can be a lyrical pattern in which threads of thought are tied together. And finally, resolution or closure and prolonged silence until the moment a new direction is taken and the rhythm repeats.
When "things are going well" in a dialogue it can it be said that the group is "dancing" to the same rhythm at the same time. And when "things aren't going well" can it be said that the group has lost its collective beat, or that individuals are in or onto another rhythm in dissonance to others in the group, or that individuals or the group may be uncomfortable with the rhythm it is experiencing.
Much emphasis in dialogue is placed on silence, the space between words and utterances. I am reminded of what is sometimes said when there is a dialogic impasse -- "don't just do something, stand there". This phrase itself reflects an awareness that there is a time for stillness; however, do we also appreciate that the stillness only comes after we have experienced the chaos of our incoherence and moved into forming more lyrical thought patterns.
It is my assumption that the norms of dialogue may tend to support the rhythms of "flowing", "lyrical" and "stillness" and not the abrupt changes of "staccato" (which can be perceived as attacks) or the "chaotic" (jumping in and around). Perhaps the "natural' movement through these two rhythms may upset some people's flow to the point of frustration.
To acknowledge that a dialogue group or session moves through rhythms that evolve one into another (and cycle back again) may aid in our understanding some of the frustrations inherent in the process. Acknowledging and being able to "go with the rhythms" of dialogue can possibly mitigate frustration in the process.
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